Don't get me wrong. Positive thinking is gosh-darned important. But it needs to be executed skillfully and discriminately. Otherwise, it just may backfire.
The most important thing about positive thinking is to direct it toward those outcomes that are under your control. So, yes, you must believe that you will eat healthier, exercise regularly, floss every day, or gain balance in your work and family life, if those are things you want to do. But these days, positive thinking has taken on a whole new dimension, in which people actually believe that they must think they'll win the lottery in order to actually win it. I hate to break the news to these well-meaning folk (okay, you caught me: I love to break the news to them), but they probably will not win the lottery. Them's the odds, plain and simple.
Here are 5 suggestions to help you frame your positive thoughts so that they move you forward, in your health improvement or in any other aspect of your life, rather than hold you back:
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Cultivate a positive attitude, rather than forcing
yourself to think positively. Attend to the joy of
life--for example, by surrounding yourself with people
you love, spending time in nature, or having a spiritual
connection--and positive thought will flow, organically. -
Establish boundaries for your positive thinking.
The media is full of stories about how optimism makes
people live longer. Not as well publicized are the
countless stories about people who have been bilked out
of thousands of dollars as they remained "optimistic"
about fraudulent treatments. Consider the "positive
thinking" that perpetuates anti-aging creams, hair loss
remedies, and a zillion weight loss scams. -
Respect your negative thoughts, and don't try to
squelch them with positive thoughts. Negative
thoughts are present in all of us, but they do their most harm when we stuff them so far down into ourselves that we may forget they're there. Ultimately, negative thoughts
find a way to express themselves, one way or the other. -
Identify the silver lining. As a coach, I often help
clients see the good in what appears to be a setback.
For example: If a client wants to get back the body
they had 20 years ago...okay, I'll coach them around
that. But if a client tells me, "I've resigned myself
to the fact that I'll never look like I did 20 years
ago," I might offer: "Well, I understand that you feel
resigned to that, but another way to look at it is
that you've accepted it." This type of distinction
can really shift a client, from thinking that they've
failed...to knowing that they've grown. -
If your body breaks down or doesn't heal, don't
assume that it's because you didn't maintain a
positive attitude. Attitudes affect health, no doubt about
it. But sometimes you just get sick or injured. Your body
is fallible. And some of the most upbeat people of the
world, regrettably, suffer nasty physical ailments.
I'm not a shrink, and I'm not presenting these ideas to you as scientific fact. But, over the years as I have helped thousands of people try to improve their health, this is what I have seen works best.
So go ahead: Wear your rose-colored glasses. But please, don't be blinded by them.
