If you're like most people, then at times you have probably felt "stuck" in your pursuit of better health, or even in your pursuit of other life improvements (better career, better relationships, better finances, etc.). I find, however, that when health seekers feel stuck, more often than not they are unwilling, unprepared, or unable to let go.
To improve your health, there is no end to the list of things you may need to let go of. Here are some of the most common:
- Old goals. If you've had the same goal for, say, several years, with no signs of progress, it's probably time to let it go. Then you'll have room for new goals. If you can let go of your weight loss goal, maybe you'll adopt a new, previously unimaginable goal. Maybe your goal will be to hike from Maine to Georgia. And you might just shed a few pounds in the process.
- Perfectionism/Absolutism. "I'm going to stop eating sugar in every form!" Really? Sounds like a set-up for failure. If you can let go of that idea, maybe you can adopt a more reasonable goal, such as indulging in sweets no more than once a week.
- Shoulds. Countless times, I've seen health seekers fixate on the type of exercise they think they should be doing (such as using whatever piece of home exercise equipment they have), and they never do it. They cling to their shoulds, and never stop to consider what their "wants" are. This is part of eliminating resistance: Stop wasting time with your shoulds; embrace yourwants. Unless required for medical reasons, you're not likely to do a should for the rest of your life (regardless of whether thatshould is riding your stationary bike, taking a vitamin daily, meditating, balancing your check book...whatever); it's easy to commit to a want.
- Other people's goals for you. Oh, there's no shortage of them. Your husband wants you to be thinner; your mother thinks you should eat more vegetables; or Madison Avenue wants you to stay young forever. You can't even hear your own goals in your mind until you can get everyone else's to stop clanging around in there.
- Fear. Health seekers fabricate all sorts of reasons to avoid taking actions that scare them. Often, they fear failure. With more clinical types of health changes, such as doing regular breast self-exams, they fear a catastrophic finding. Letting go of fear is hard, but you can do it.
- Other folks' doings. Comparing yourself to others is a losing proposition. Don't concern yourself with how your neighbor is doing with his weight loss, his fitness, his stress, his life. They're his, not yours.
Unfortunately, I don't really have enough space here to spell out the various techniques to help you identify what you may wish to let go of, or how to let go of it (though those techniques are all covered in depth in my forthcoming book, The Health Seeker's Handbook--to be published this autumn). But no matter--awareness is the first and most important step. And I'll pass along to you one other quick clue, using an analogy:
Imagine you're stranded at sea, clinging to a life preserver. You may feel stuck, but in reality you're not letting go. It would be stupid to let go, wouldn't it? Maybe not...not if there is something else, something solid and grounded, for you to move toward.
You must have something to move toward.
Now, what do you need to let go of?
